In today’s fast-paced world, many people fall into the trap of believing that if they are doing something "useful," it can't be a waste of time. They sign up for every course, collect various certifications, attend endless social events, and stay constantly busy, but somehow, they still feel stuck and don't see real progress.
The problem is this: “useful” doesn’t always mean “useful to you.” Just like in fitness, where some people need to gain muscle while others need to lose fat, blindly following someone else’s plan won’t always give you the results you want and may even lead to setbacks. Life is no different—your time is limited, and you must focus your energy on things that will help you achieve your core goals.
When I was preparing for the entrance exams to Peking University, I abandoned all activities unrelated to my studies and even turned down unnecessary social events. Some people called me “antisocial,” but I understood that energy is like a bucket of water: when you spread it too thin, it barely wets anything, but when you focus it on one point, you can dig a deep well.
The Three Questions Every Twenty-Something Should Ask Themselves
In your twenties, the “golden period” of your life, asking yourself the right questions will help you avoid wasting the next five years. Focus on these three:
What do I truly want? (Forget external expectations and listen to your inner voice)
What do I have right now? (Assess your abilities, resources, and advantages)
What do I need to give up? (Let go of things and people that drain you without contributing to your growth)
When I graduated, I was offered a high-paying job, but the work was repetitive and lacked room for growth. After a week of contemplation, I turned it down—I wasn’t after temporary high salary, but long-term growth. Later, while starting my business, though it was tough, every step brought me closer to the life I truly wanted.
Goal Setting: Why Do You Never Complete Your Goals?
A lot of people set goals like “I want to be excellent” or “I want to make more money,” but these vague goals often go unfulfilled. For goals to be actionable and achievable, they need to meet three conditions: specific, measurable, and time-bound.
For example:
Instead of saying, “I want to learn English,” say, “I will score 7 in IELTS within three months.”
Instead of saying, “I want to get fit,” say, “I will exercise three times a week, for one hour each session, and lose 20 pounds in three months.”
Also, your goals should be achievable yet challenging. Too easy goals are demotivating, and too difficult goals can lead to burnout. When I was preparing for my exams, I didn’t start with the ultimate goal of “getting in” but set small, manageable targets like “get into study mode” and “tackle one difficult topic each month,” which gradually built my confidence.
What You Have May Be What’s Holding You Back
Path dependence is one of the biggest enemies of growth. You get so comfortable in your current routine—whether it’s in your job, skills, or external validation—that you resist change. You may be too dependent on the comfort of the familiar, and too scared to learn new things or to stick to your own decisions.
I used to be a “people-pleaser,” always compromising to keep others happy, but this left me exhausted and unaccomplished. Eventually, I realized that truly valuable people don’t need to please others to gain recognition. I started saying “no” to unproductive social engagements and focused on improving myself, which earned me more respect in the long run.
If you want to grow, you need to empty yourself of unnecessary baggage. Drop the “advantages” that keep you stuck in your comfort zone, and venture out into a bigger world.
The Sweet Spot and the Circle of Competence: Don't Do What You Don’t Know
The sweet spot is the intersection of what you’re good at, what the market needs, and what you love. Finding your sweet spot is the key to working smarter, not harder.
The circle of competence refers to the areas you truly understand. Many people, eager for quick success, follow trends in areas they know nothing about—such as rushing into entrepreneurship because others are doing it, or jumping into stock trading without experience—often resulting in losses.
When I started my business, I only focused on what I knew. For things outside my expertise, like finance and legal matters, I partnered with professionals instead of trying to handle them on my own. Remember: admitting you don’t know something is wisdom. Stay within your circle of competence, and you’ll progress steadily.
Why You Shouldn't Choose What You Love
Many people say, “Follow your passion.” But I would argue: Before you’re competent enough, don’t turn your passion into your career.
When a hobby becomes your livelihood, you face external pressures, such as client demands, market rules, and survival concerns, which gradually drain your passion. What’s more, your “love” for something in your youth is often superficial—you may enjoy the novelty but not truly understand its essence.
I love writing, but I didn’t dive straight into being a full-time writer. Instead, I accumulated experience and developed my skills. When I was ready, I turned writing into my primary career. The right approach is to treat your passion as a side hustle until it can bring you stable income, and until you’re ready to handle the various challenges it brings.
Position Matters: Where You Are Determines Your Value
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” The people and environment you surround yourself with will directly impact how fast you grow.
In high school, most of my peers didn’t care about academics, so I followed suit, skipping classes and playing games. Then, I transferred to a more competitive school, where everyone was striving for excellence, and I naturally joined their ranks. During my graduate studies at Peking University, I was surrounded by top-tier professionals from all industries, and their mindset and approach taught me a lot.
Choice is more important than effort: When you choose the right circle, platform, and peers, your growth accelerates. Pick the right environment, and your potential will be amplified.
Conclusion
Finding the right direction is critical to avoid wasting effort. Whether it’s in your career or personal life, focusing on what truly matters, setting clear and achievable goals, and staying within your circle of competence are all essential for progress. Let go of the things that hold you back, and embrace opportunities that align with your true purpose.
At our website, we’ve accumulated a wealth of success strategies that have already helped many people achieve their goals. If you’re looking to streamline your path to success, we’re here to help guide you and provide the tools you need to thrive!
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